homonyms

Mia’s ma admires Meyer’s murmur, “My ass, ma, emanates a miasma miring my asthma!”

Choibles: Part III

More of Dan Choi’s actual foibles. Click here to see last month’s.

I file every personal, handwritten note I receive in a black shoebox, which travels with me from home to home. It is what I would grab if my house were to ever catch fire.

I hate horror movies, and I enjoy romantic comedies a little too much, I think. Favorite movies include Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (1 & 2), 13 Going on 30, Zoolander, The Godfather (part II), and Gladiator.

I buy almost everything on Amazon. The staples come on subscription (e.g., toilet paper, detergent, hand soap, paper towels).

I am a stickler for the difference between “i.e.” and “e.g.”.

I put two spaces after my periods between sentences. Yes, I know it’s technically wrong, but this is the way I learned how to type, and I like it better.

I think the toenail on my fourth right toe is dead. I honestly don’t know what’s going on with that thing.

I almost always keep a Burt’s Beeswax (original, not one of the new flavored ones) in my left front pants pocket. I get noticeably more irritable on days when I don’t have my Burt’s Bees on me.

I almost always keep an old pair of apple earphones in my back right pants pocket. I never know when the need to listen to a particular song will hit me.

I started practicing yoga regularly this year, and I do it every other day at 10pm, just before getting ready for bed. My favorite poses are triangle pose and warrior 3; I struggle with pigeon and reverse table.

I have a single, long (~1.5 inches) hair which grows on my right nipple. I cut it occasionally, but it always grows back. That’s kinda a private thing to share, I guess. But it’s true.

If traveling to a specific destination and given a choice, I will always rather be a passenger than the driver.

I love sandwiches and barbecue chips. I regret days when I don’t have a sandwich for lunch.

I have no preference between aisle or window, though I prefer both to middle.

I always wait too long to get my hair cut. Nearly every time I get it cut, the barber asks how long its been. When I reply, they always nod and sigh. It’s a depressing experience.

As a child, my mother once told me that if I were to ever eat a one-on-one meal with a woman, that I should without exception pick up the tab. I’ve failed to do this a couple times.

My nosehairs grow far too quickly. My home bathroom is never without a suitable trimmer.

Five years ago at the J.Crew in Beachwood, Ohio, I was treated in a condescending manner by one of the employees. I’ve never purchased anything from J.Crew since. I don’t perceive this as a grudge, in that I’m not officially boycotting the store, but it was a definite turn-off.

quite becoming

i’ve become convinced
there is no such state as pure existence.
the perfect status quo – idem ad infinitum.

for you see,
we are but creatures subject to perpetual change.
if we are not progressing, we are regressing.
stagnation giving way to entropy.

in this, i find a source of great injustice.
for when i look into the eyes of my brothers,
i see not the magnitude nor direction of their changes,
but mere *snapshots* of their present conditions.
seemingly apparent are their positions on the mountaintop,
but remaining hidden, the heights they have overcome and,
more importantly, their respective wills to reach the summit.

it is a regrettable facet of the human condition,
that of time,
we can only ever glimpse
static cross-sections of a dynamic continuum.

so might i propose
that of ourselves and of each other,
we all take heed:
mark not the men we are,
but the men we are becoming.