germination

we buried the others’ words
within our souls.
and like seeds they sprouted
saplings of who we would become.

what’s in a dream

we met in my dreams the other night
long after the last time we spoke.
you were a young girl, and
it was years before we were to meet.

it was strange, but i got to tell you
everything that you deserved to know.
how despite the feelings
i had for you died with a whimper,
i don’t regret a moment of what i felt.

and that you set a high bar
for everyone who came after.

Promises

to the woman who taught me unconditional love,
despite our best intentions –
there was a moment.

before i gave myself up to you,

when i released the mortal chains

which held me to myself.
relinquished sense

and sensibility
stripped myself bare and bared these teeth…
…bungee jumping seems an a propos metaphor

for the tumble i knew awaited me.
i

made a vow..

before it was ever to you, it was to myself
that this was something i would see to the end

whether i was the ship

or the iceberg
i would sink

or swim

come what may.
and so what can i do?

a vow is a vow.

Reckoning

Occasionally, I am reminded of
the anachrony of inspiration.
The vaguely humorous plight of
never knowing what will move me
and when.

I recall lovers out of order,
process trauma on its own schedule,
bleed ink in undulating stretches
of drought and reckless abandon.


It’s bingo night.
And the fix is far from in.
A volunteer casually rolls the cage
ready to call the rounds as they fall.

Drift

The currents suffer us no sympathies.

In mere moments of innocent neglect
the steady waters turn our course
to their capricious will.

North stars be damned.

I swear –
I could make it wherever
these best laid plans intended,
if it weren’t for this incessant drift.

Forebears

to live is to experience
to experience is to hurt
to hurt is to know
to know is to understand
to understand is to appreciate
to appreciate is to forgive
to forgive is to mend
to mend is to, at long last –
find some measure of peace.

Flux

Forgive me.

The first time I told you I loved you,
I was still figuring it all out.

I still am, I guess.

Surrender

When will you learn that it’s possible
to put too much faith in your struggle?

What happened, that made pain the only thing
that the lungs of your soul recognize as air?

You can swim all day against the current
and still find yourself no closer to shore.