these notes have addressed many you’s over the years,
but it feels as though eons have elapsed
since the last time a “you” was… you.
…yet here i am.
eyes heavy; heart slow; breaths deep;
the sun – come and gone.
your fragrance seeps serenely into my mind.
fills in those cracks the way it used to…
we spoke on the telephone,
for the first time
since the last time
i whispered your name to the night.
slowly, you decanted reparations
for debts i hadn’t known.
from times long enough ago, that
the memories i recalled seemed more like
– frozen frames –
from a long since forgotten film.
efforts were made to remember relevant
scenes, contexts, and plot twists.
when you had finished,
inhaled, then exhaled.
responded with few words,
which stayed with you more than i had expected them to:
“it will always matter,
but it will always be o.k.”
…i didn’t quite know what else to say.
you used to say that life is what happens
when we’re busy making other plans.
in the most tragically beautiful sense,
i do agree.